Isn’t that the ultimate question?

Yet people bring it up around the table like it was an easy talk

I can not ask myself if I believe in God without hearing an interior voice going: ” cancer, cancer, cancer”

( imagine that in a fire alarm kind of sound )

Yet, I believe I’ve found myself closer to God after last year, when I found out that my cancer had spread yet another time.

Most people think (and I was one of them) that the closer you are to death the more you need a Powerful God that can either save you or promise you a better world ahead.

That is one of the reasons why I refused God for so long and with a certain strength, I didn’t want to be weak and naive, I wanted to be the strong person that walked into, literally, nothing without a sugar coating it.

But then I had a taste of fire and I’ve seen people burned down to their fucking ashes and I’ve found grace there.

I never thought there could be grace in such desperate places.

Grace comes from God. There’s a peaceful state that I believe can not be entirely human.

Yet I do not claim to have found any truth, I am only saying that I understand that I do not understand, but there’s a power out there and I am willing to talk to that power and ask it miracles for me, and for all those that need it.

That doesn’t mean that when it will be my time, as late as possible cause I have a lot to do on this journey, I won’t be like

“Hey dude, I know you are almighty and everything but I swear, there’s room for improvement on earth!”

I assume he’ll look at me, check my receipt and be like:

“GUUURL! What ya doing up here? You’re supposed to be in hell! Guards!”

(Yes, God talk slang. Y’all got a problem with that?)

Where do you stand in this God thing?

Love and light,

-xxx-

Lisa

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