Did I mention I am a three times cancer survivor? I think I did. If I didn’t … well, I am.
I will save the story for another time but let’s say that my last ( but definitely not least, as it was super aggressive ) cancer recurrence was last year and I am pretty over it ( meaning my body scans are CLEAN ) but I am still doing some therapies, some IVs, injections, pills…
I have less energy than I used to, but I’ve changed my life – and I am super lucky I was able to do that – and now I only do what I want, I also say everything that passes through my mind… so probably I will die stabbed by someone !
That’s because usually people reach this level of honesty/spontaneity much later in life… I’m afraid if you start in your thirties that might prove to be challenging for the people around you!!! ( just kidding, kind of… ).
All of this to say that I feel I am over it, and I have filled my life with so many awesome people and awesome activities that I don’t really have the time nor the energy to waste thinking about cancer coming back or other negative thoughts.
My subconscious though apparently does… so I am finding myself having more and more nightmares where I find I have recurrences in weird places, doctors are not treating me, assasins try to kill me 3 times or many bad things that follow me and come back three times etc etc.
I believe there is not much to do about it actually, it’s just my brain processing the trauma and I am actually grateful for this ( again, kind of…) and I am trying not to stress about it or to give it too much relevance.
I am just sharing this because I guess it’s something many people go through for all different kinds of reasons, not only cancer!
Today marks my first serious post guys! But don’t worry tomorrow I’ll have plenty of time – going to the hospital for blood works/check up- to write about the beautiful neighborhood of Monti in Rome !