I used to identify myself with my beautiful, long, mermaid-like hair.

I had struggled with my body image before (I used to be a chubby kid and grew up to be a curvy woman) but my hair always made me feel unique, special.

Just to give you and idea this was me

Then cancer happened.

I didn’t do any chemo when I had it the very first time, but I did it the second time around on my first recurrence.

I was resigned to the idea of losing all my hair, as long as they could get me rid of that stupid cancer I was down to do anything possible.

The week before my first round of chemo though – the so called red devil- I set down on the couch and thought to myself:

” it’s 2014 I can’t believe there’s not a way for me to keep my hair during chemo!”

And there actually was one: I found out about dignicap and when I wrote to my oncologist I also found out they had the machine in my hospital but she didn’t mention that to me ( yeah… that’s crazy but ????????‍♀️ ).

I still had to color my hair their own color and to cut them short to increase the possibilities of the dignicap to work …

and this was me afterwards

WELL… Let me be more honest for my fellow cancer fighters, I did look like that but mostly I looked like this:

(AKA kinda pale, no lashes, no brows –  but my hair still holding on pretty well! And yes that is my furry baby, yes I know he is lovely!)

That’s how the dignicap looks and that’s the face of a woman who willingly decides to do 6 hours of chemo instead of 3.

When you decide to use the dignicap in fact you have to keep it on two hours before the chemo and two hours after. That’s because the cold cap works by vasoconstriction, basically the cold makes your veins smaller and the chemo doesn’t go to you scalp (but it goes to your brain and your bones and everything else it does NOT affect your treatment).

I used it then, but last year when I did chemo again I told myself I wouldn’t do it furthermore.

“luckily”  this time around I did a kind of chemo that didn’t make my hair fall.

Just for the sake of a little figurative recap:

FROM hair goals

To hot brunette

A little preview: part two will be about when I died my hair all the colors of the rainbow and part three will be about when I put extensions to try to have my hair like they used to be only to learn, yet another time, that there’s no going back in life, only forward!

But that’s another story…



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