I know it’s 2018 and I am sorry I am still making a post about girls that need to learn how to set better boundaries in their lives, I wish I didn’t have to. And if someone feels like it’s not a problem anymore, I am glad you are surrounded by lucky and aware women, I guess!
I am gonna speak my mind anyway though 😉
I had deep and enlightening conversations with some friends over the past couple of weeks that made me realize how we are still taking so much shit without standing up for ourselves, from our partners, from demanding or dismissing friends, and even from strangers!
And I could clearly see that because I’ve been that way most of my life. Now I don’t anymore.
I think I have taken as many slaps in the face ( metaphorically taking!) I could take and as much shit I could, the measure is just full.
Here’s an example:
Last week I was in a line and a woman was complaining very loudly, so after a while I turned my head and said smiling: “I am sorry, we just need to have a bit of patience”
She looked at me, I was holding hands with my Fiancé, and she said in a very bitter way: “of course you say so, you don’t have children to take care of”
I don’t have children because I cannot because well… cancers, so I quietly replied “not every one is so lucky miss, I wish I had them”
My fiancé stopped me because he was scared we were going to get into a fight and that had me thinking…
did I overstep the line? Should I have stayed quiet? I know the lady was stressed and had her own issues and I didn’t mean to be rude, but I also didn’t want her to diminish me and the pain I feel.
(this kind of thoughts in italian would be labeled as “mental jerking off” I don’t think there’s an english equivalent! But it just means you are kind of playing with your mind and it won’t generate anything)
This is the problem. As women we are never encouraged to set boundaries and say what we are willing to accept or not, and often we tend to think we are wrong, or we are afraid we might be perceived as “bitches”
And also about my self-doubting …fuck that…
I honestly believe it starts when we are kids, we see how our mothers let others treat them and what we were taught. I am aware things are changing, but I realized they are not changing that much actually!
I am also convinced that the obsession with being thin is part of this… we want to shrink, to occupy less space in the world, to be lighter on other people shoulders… well, I say (to men, women, kids, animals and unicorns) and please pardon my french again… fuck that shit !
This might look like a feminist post but I believe is not, I think humans issues are everyone’s issues, either if it’s a racial problem, a gender problem, a lgbt equality issue and many other things.
Also please ladies and men … know what you are not willing to accept in a relationship and when it happens just walk out of the door, it doesn’t necessarily means you deserve better but you deserve different, love is not supposed to make you feel diminished, ignored or stupid !
Let me finish with a feminist line though ! ( Do I contradict myself? Well then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes! Quote from Walt Whitman ! )
I would love to read some thoughts about this issue ☺️